No Way In Hell
by LittLetriXta
Summary: An innocent suggestion from Misaki and an over dosage of magical pills provided by the Demon Lord turns disastrous as Hilda and Oga are forced to deal with the horrifying aftermath of their "lovemaking".
1. Chapter 1

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No Way In Hell

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Disclaimer: I don't own Beelzebub any of the characters or its original storyline. They are all rightfully owned by the genius Ryuuhei Tamura. Power to the creator yall!

Summary: An innocent suggestion from Misaki and an over dosage of magical pills provided by the Demon Lord turns disastrous as Hilda and Oga are forced to deal with the horrifying aftermath of their "lovemaking".

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Oga had long since gotten used to the fact that circumstances in his house were changing on a regular basis, all of which were beyond his control. He accepted the fact that there was no such thing as privacy in his home anymore now that Alaindelon could pop in and out with the rest of the demon world's inhabitant's anytime he pleased so much that he couldn't even change out of his boxers without a yopple trying to bite his ass. He had accepted the fact that his entire family were a bunch of oblivious morons that pretty much came to their own conclusion about things before he had the chance to say otherwise. And deep down he had accepted the fact that Hilda and Beel were probably going to stay for the rest of eternity even if it meant he would be killed somewhere in the process if he didn't already try to kill himself first.

He had accepted this much.

But there was no way in hell he was going to accept the crap idea his sister had proposed.

"Ne, Tatsumi, mom and dad aren't getting any younger. Don't you think it's about time you and Hilda-chan gave baby Beel a little sister?"

"What kind of idiot idea is that? Why do I have to do everything? Who the hells stopping you from getting yourself screwed over with-" It didn't take long for Misaki to stop Oga's sentence short with her foot.

"Don't be a fool. I'm too busy with my own life to have children of my own, you know that!"

"Busy? What the hell do you do all day anyway? Clip your nails?"

"Hey, douche." Oga bitterly turned his attention to the demon maid sitting close by in her usual maid servant attire.

"Misaki-san makes a valid point. It wouldn't hurt for the young master to obtain some underlings of his own."

"What the hell are you saying? That's not what she meant at all! She's trying to say we should –Why am I even bothering to explain this to you!" Oga turned to his sister. "You can for damn sure bet Beel is not getting a little brother or sister. So, don't bother suggesting it! I got enough to worry about with him as it is!"

"Tatsumi-kun. You and Hilda-chan are having another baby? This is rather sudden news, wouldn't you say?" His mother intervened as she entered the room, holding a tray of freshly made croquettes.

"Hilda-chan! Thank you! To bless me with not one but two beautiful grand-children! I will truly be the grandest of all grandfathers!" His father added grabbing hold of both Hilda's hands as he spilled tears of joy on the living room carpet.

"A…Ah." Hilda responded in uncertainty.

"Oga you selfish bastard! What did you do to my beautiful Hilda-chan?" Suddenly as if out of thin air (or Alaindelon's vessel of a body) Furuichi showed up looking riled up over absolutely nothing in his usual fashion, Alaindelon in tow.

"Hilda-san, is this true? With such a lowly being not even close to the stature of my Takayuki-dono? Not that he's mine of course I'm just so protective as I'm so used to referring to him in such a fashion you see…"

Hilda glared silently.

"What the hell! Are you all insane?" Oga stood up, startling Beel who was clinging to his back during all the excitement. "We're not having another little brat and if the Demon Lord or whatever sends us another I'm going to shoot myself!"

"Didn't know you were so religious Tatsumi." Misaki said idly filing her nails. "You know … if that's how you feel about it your "Demon Lord" won't care either way if you don't start learning how to protect yourself from your mistakes to begin with." She implied pointing her nail file toward Beel who was now crawling on the carpet nearby oblivious as he was trying to smash a bug with his fist.

"That's not!" Oga felt himself losing it, but deciding ultimately to calm down as he realized his argument would just be lost in the utter stupidity of those around him.

"Aniki... I can guarantee there's not gonna be anymore brats." He said crossing his arms. "There's no way. No way in hell."

"Sides…" He continued closing his eyes. "I'm sure Hilda agrees with me that having another kid around here would be too much work… no doubt she's milked her chest dry by now."

The last thing Oga remembered was a flash of blonde before he was knocked unconscious.

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Lamia was bored. This usually didn't happen in her profession considering she had her hands full with work on a regular enough basis being the top notch assistant doctor that she was. However, at that particular moment she would definitely classify her situation as a boring one. She had been in the "waiting room" of the Demon Lord's lair for about a little over six hours now and she was just about ready to storm out when she heard his voice ring over the teleprompter.

"LAAAMIAAA-chan… come in now! I'm dying to see you."

Lamia turned the corner and saw the Demon Lord in his usual fashion, back towards her with his usual ridiculous headdress.

"Lord? You requested my presence?"

He seemed to be engaged in whatever was on his screen enough to avoid turning to face Lamia upon her entrance.

"I'm totally sorry for the wait. I had all these meetings with these Lords from whatever land and they were all "blabla we want to take over and stuff" and I was all "nu uh!" but that's over now. Now we can discuss real business!"

Lamia forcibly refrained from making a face despite his inability to see her expression.

"Lamia, I want you to make a potion."

"A potion Lord Master?"

"Duh, I just said that! Yes, a potion. I've been watching my son and I have to admit I'm rather disappointed at how things are progressing."

"Well, Lord I remind you he is still an infant afterall…actually he has been growing at a rather rapid speed lately due to-"

"No, no. Not him. I mean Hilda-chan and the human. I mean seriously, like, what's going on there?" The Demon Lord kicked his foot up on the dashboard of his control system and continued while he attempted to reiterate his feelings with his hands.

"I mean, 'coz like first they were all fighting and whatever and I was totally into it because it was just too funny seeing Hilda-chan's weird new expressions and everything and I figured my son could learn more about destroying humanity if he watched these two destroy each other, but to be honest I'm like totally bored of it now. Last I overheard, Hilda was all "Oga's a bastard and blab la" and I'm like ok tell somebody who isn't all busy with trying to kill humanity off and stuff."

"Lord?" Lamia pressed a hand to her temple as she tried to comprehend all this.

"This is where you come in Lamia-chan! I need you to feed some of that witchy brew you make to Hilda and that human man. Make them, like, happy and prancy. I think it's just way better that way wouldn't you agree? I mean it makes total sense right for when we destroy the world and stuff? If Hilda isn't busy thinking about killing whatever his name is she can focus on making sure he becomes a proper parent for my son… until the time comes when Beel-kun kills him himself! Along with the rest of humanity! It's a perfect plan ne Lamia-chan? I am like too smart and cool sometimes right?"

"Ehe… yes, my Lord."

Lamia had a very bad feeling about this.

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Hilda sighed to herself as she finished putting Beel in bed next to the still unconscious Oga. It wasn't like her to feel so tired. Both she and Oga had gotten used to Beel's night crying as of late and ever since he had progressed in age he didn't act out in shocking tantrums quite as often. Other than her lack of energy, something just didn't seem right to her. She had an almost impending feeling that something was going to happen that would throw things off course yet again.

That's when Hilda heard a beeping.

'Ah. It's time." It wasn't too often these days that she got the chance to catch her midafternoon soaps, so she had converted for the time being toward catching the late night dramas.

However, when Hilda looked to her watch she was confused. It was twenty minutes too early for her alarm to indicate that her most recent drama was on. No, this beeping was something else.

Hilda followed into the hallway to find the source of the beeping when she discovered that this beeping was none other than something very short, pink and white and very much shaped like Lamia.

"Lamia!"

"Hilda-nee-chan!" Lamia lurched into a hug at the rather surprised Hilda.

"What are you doing here at a time like this?" Hilda asked as Lamia struggled to turn off what looked like a watch but what was actually her very handy transportable device used strictly for sans-Alaindelon purposes.

"Hilda-nee-san! I had strict orders from the Demon lord to uh…"

Lamia immediately remembered something .

_Lamia-chan! Don't tell Hilda-chan about the potion ok! Let's keep it between you and me! Bffs! _

_Xoxo –_

_Lord Master_

"To uh… wish you goodnight! And to… give you this fruit cocktail!"

"Fruit cocktail?" Hilda inquired suspicious.

"Yes! It's what they call in the human world a delicious midnight snack! Make sure you take it. It's supposed to make you immensely strong." Hilda inspected the bottle curiously and made a note that it looked the furthest thing from any fruit substance she had come in contact with during her stay in the human world and very much like a bottle of what Misaki-san had once referred to as "pain killers". She supposed it made sense that something which would make you quite strong would have such a threatening name.

"And give one to the idiot too, ok?" Lamia shoved the bottle toward Hilda. "I have to run nee-san. But, remember… just eat one!"

Lamia was gone in a flash, but that uneasy feeling Hilda had still lingered. Why would Lamia-chan appear out of nowhere to give her such a thing?

Hilda had a very bad feeling about this.

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Baby Beel was the first to wake up. A weight was holding him down. He looked over to see Dah. Dah was still asleep

He crawled into the hallway. There was no one.

He crawled into the bathroom. Again, there was no one.

Mah was still asleep, too. This was usually the case each morning so Beel didn't make a big deal of it. In this situation Beel would wander the house for a little bit until Mah or Dah would awaken and find him.

When Beel was about to leave the bathroom he spotted something on the counter. It was a bottle with a lot of little candies inside. He would investigate.

Beel climbed to the top of the counter and grasped the bottle in both hands. He shook it. It made a noise similar to his rattle, but he was sure it was nothing like his rattle. He fought to open it for a few minutes before the cheap cover popped off and a million of the little "candies" spilled onto the counter.

He picked one up and put it in his mouth but immediately spat it out. It tasted terrible.

Then Beel spotted Mah's cup on the counter beside the sink and had an idea. Mah loved things that tasted really bad. Perhaps she would like these, too.

So Beel dropped one in her cup. And then another. And then another until there were five little red candies floating in her water. He watched excited at first but his expression changed as they dissolved towards the bottom. Beel made a face of defeat and hopped off the table before going to find Dah.

He would know what to do.

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Oga awoke feeling terrible and it took him a few minutes for his mind to clear to remember why.

Oh, right. The demon.

_That crazy bitch._ Oga scratched his head and yawned. _Ugh. _His head was pounding.

Oga reached over to where Beel usually lay but found he wasn't in his normal spot. He remembered the couple times Beel had woken up early and wandered off on his own just far enough out his window, down the drainage pipes, and into the street for Oga to be awakened by a sharp electric surge of lightening. _Crap. _He had to remember to put locks on that damn window.

The window was wide open. It was broad daylight but as Oga looked out and into the street he didn't see any sign of Baby Beel monkeying around outside.

He wasn't feeling any shocking sensation either so he had to still be close by.

It was a good thing that Oga had figured out by now that he could be anywhere in his house away from Beel and not be shocked by him. Funny enough, he could actually thank his dad for being too cheap to buy a bigger house.

So, if he was still in the house … where exactly was he?

Oga ran into the hallway and was stopped short when he spotted the little green haired baby running toward him.

Baby Beel grabbed his leg and pointed toward the bathroom urgently.

"Dah! Dabu!" Beel yelled urging him to follow.

"What is it Baby Beel?" Oga questioned rounding the corner to the bathroom and turned his attention to the bottle of pain killers that was spilled out over the counter.

"Oh… how did you know? Well, done! Men taking care of the needs of their fellow men… that's what's important." Oga grinned leaning down to pat Baby Beel on the head before reaching for the "pain killers".

Oga popped one in his mouth followed by another and then followed by another after that until he had taken close to five pain killers.

But, hell who was counting?

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Hilda walked toward the bathroom that she begrudgingly shared with Oga and gave him the once over as he walked out with Baby Beel.

"Feeling better?"

"Like hell I am you damned demon." He replied eyeing her maliciously as she passed.

"Don't use so many words you know little about you ignorant spine." Hilda hissed as her shoulder brushed past his.

Once in the bathroom, her eyes narrowed as she reached for her brush and roughly began to clean her teeth.

_Fool. _Hilda was so irritated that she almost didn't notice the pile of pills flooding the surface of the sink.

Hilda's memory came rushing back to her as she recalled her encounter with Lamia from the previous night.

As the hand that wasn't holding her toothbrush reached down to finger one of the tiny pills Hilda remembered vaguely pieces from their conversation.

"Immensely strong, huh?" She said to herself, eyeing the pill in her hand.

Hilda would rather die than admit that most of her worries lately had been how much Oga's strength had progressed in such a short amount of time. It was safe to gather that most of the strength was due to the help of the Zebub spell and other newly discovered techniques Oga happened to stumble upon along the way. And it pleased her as long as such progress would benefit the young master. Nevertheless, it worried her a little that she might fall behind. Even that Kuneida was growing stronger by the day. She had no doubt about her own strength, but it had its limits and if Lamia was giving her a guarantee to boost that strength even just a little bit what harm could there be?

She needed to be strong for the young master's sake. Otherwise, what use was she to him?

Hilda popped it into her mouth without a second thought before washing it down with her cup of water and quickly disposed of the rest of the pills before Oga could find them.

_It's not like that idiot isn't getting enough help as it is. _

Besides, no doubt he'd be too dumb to pay attention to Lamia's instructions to take only one pill.

_That greedy bastard. _

It was a good thing she had some sense. Otherwise, who knows what mess they'd be in?

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A.N. – So, there's my first timer Beelzebub Fic! It's a multichapter (which I haven't attempted in ages but i'll try! ;) so stay tuned for more and I hope yall dug it and stuff! Also, please review! ;)


	2. Chapter 2

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No Way In Hell

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Disclaimer: I don't own Beelzebub any of the characters or its original storyline. They are all rightfully owned by the genius Ryuuhei Tamura. Power to the creator yall!

Summary: An innocent suggestion from Misaki and an over dosage of magical pills provided by the Demon Lord turns disastrous as Hilda and Oga are forced to deal with the horrifying aftermath of their "lovemaking".

A.N- Sorry this chapter was so late in coming! I've been pretty busy lately so once I had the opportunity to sit down and finish this thing I took it! But, thank you so much to those of you that reviewed in the previous chapter! I hope this one lives up to your expectations. Also, there's a pretty good chunk of smut in this one, so if you're not into that sort of thing you can stop right before the italicized section. It was a challenge writing smut for these two, considering Oga is usually such a clueless lunkhead, but keep in mind that they are still under the effects of the dosage, lol.

Otherwise, enjoy!

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Baby Beel rarely cared to think much about his life in great detail given that he was still an infant and his choices were ultimately limited and left up to a higher hand until he was of proper age. He had a vague idea that he was genuinely important to those around him and yet he was humble enough to know that Mah and Dah had the proper say on what his day to day activities would entail, but still, being the infant that he was he rarely dwelled or noticed this much.

Regardless, there were things that Beel did take notice of and at the moment it was the way that Mah and Dah were behaving. It was out of the ordinary and for Beel to acknowledge this from both his stand in parents made it a very pressing issue indeed.

Still, the fact that his choice words only consisted of "Mah, Dah, DABU, and poopa" (which Oga's father had mistaken as "grandpa" on a number of occasions) there was nothing much that Beel could say regarding the issue, and so he just stared on as Mah and Dah became more and more unlike themselves by the minute.

In actuality, the funniest thing about it was that this behavior went on as neither Mah nor Dah said a single word. It was like a silent movie. As Beel sat from his booster at the dining room table he surveyed his pseudo parents closely as they unknowingly danced around the kitchen in a strange display that went unnoticed by the other members of the household.

It went a little something like this: Mah had remained in the kitchen as she was in process of making the regular mid-Sunday (and mid-any other day of the week snack for that matter) croquettes. She stood by the stove sliding the pan along the grill aimlessly waiting to turn her cooking when Dah walked in and opened the fridge, looked around for a moment then quickly closed it and left without grabbing anything. At first glance there was nothing wrong with this picture, however, Beel was smart and he knew his "parents" well enough to take note that when this happened again moments later Dah grabbed a can of soda, slid over to where Mah was, eyed her briefly and opened the drawer to pull out a fork before exiting the kitchen once again.

That's where things went strange.

However, being the infant that he was, Beel's attention span was also equal to a bird and the fact that he could see his own warped reflection in his spoon soon became of greater importance.

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"If you have something to say just say it dust mite." Hilda said midway of pushing the croquettes onto a nearby plate.

"What now? The only one talking here is you. I just needed to get something." Oga inquired as he opened another random drawer and pulled out a cork screw despite the fact that he had no idea what he needed it for.

"Yes, for only the fifth time. What are you going to do with that?" Hilda questioned as she moved closer.

Suddenly the proximity was deafeningly aware to Oga and he felt like he was suffocating regardless of the fact that Hilda's attention was directed entirely on the foreign object Oga was holding.

He didn't understand what was happening to him but whatever it was had caused beads of sweat to form on the back of Oga's shirt collar and he had the overwhelming urge to pull it off.

"It's a… cork screw." Oga answered lamely. "That's all you need to know!"

"Let me see. Perhaps this might be of use to the young master." Hilda suggested attempting to grab the cork screw out of Oga's hand, but his responses were quick.

"Are you crazy! You can't let a kid play with this." He replied snapping it back sharply.

"Are you underestimating the master's ability to handle a mere human object? Or worse… are you questioning my judgment as a parent? Hand it over." Hilda reached over Oga's shoulder but he pulled away once again.

"No way! He's gonna poke an eye out with it."

"Try insulting him again!" Hilda replied reaching for her umbrella which seemed to come out of thin air.

"You really are an idiot! If you want it get one yourself!" Oga stuck the cork screw in his pocket and hopped up the stairs unsure of why he was even fighting Hilda about something so stupid to begin with. Still, teasing her was all of a sudden so intriguing and he felt an overwhelming desire to piss her off. He suddenly wanted to push all of her buttons and the sheer look of anger on her face was making all of Oga's emotions feel heightened in the strangest way.

Hilda not one to be outdone followed Oga all the way to his room and he welcomed her knowingly as he stood with both feet planted before her tossing the cork screw from one hand to the other with a wild grin taking over his face.

"Come on Hilda. Let's just battle it out. This is what this is all about right? Not some dumb cork screw." Oga tossed the object onto the floor and moved toward her. "You've been nothing but an angry bitch to me lately. Just admit that you want to fight and let's be done with it."

Hilda sheathed her umbrella which seemingly appeared out of nowhere and moved toward Oga placing the blade before his neck.

"Are you honestly trying to test me? You really are a fool."

Oga's only reaction was a devilish smirk before he kicked her legs up from under her and her back hit the floor with a thud.

"Tell me …Who's the fool again?" Oga's smug expression hovered over her, but in the next instant Hilda reacted by cracking the back of her blade handle against his skull causing Oga to hit the floor immediately.

Hilda glared as she hovered near Oga's limp form straddling him all of a sudden with both legs as she reached for his shirt collar and pulled his head up towards her.

"You…Bastard." Hilda hissed.

He would have fell unconscious again if it weren't for the realization that she was actually doing this and that he was very much aware that she was wearing her normal uniform skirt and what was very much thin, white, and cotton underneath it.

If such a situation had arisen he probably would have normally tossed Hilda across his room and ran for dear life but this was not the case. It was quite the opposite and as that familiar heat started to wash over Oga and his muscles started to tingle, Oga gritted his teeth as part of him was confused that he wasn't mortally terrified.

What the hell was going on?

However, she must have sensed the strangeness of her position and the all of a sudden awkwardness of the situation as she quickly let go of Oga's shirt and backed away from him.

Hilda sprawled to her feet as she attempted to compose herself.

"What the hell are you doing, rat?"

"Me? What about you! You're the one who was all over me!" Oga yelled as he attempted to crawl up onto his feet.

"Well… you didn't stop me!" Hilda replied backing away from him with an accusing finger.

"Ya! Well… So what!" Oga made a mental note to work on his lame comebacks.

"Let's just…"

"Agree to never talk about this."

"Agreed!" They both said together before Hilda exited the room toward her own.

From downstairs Baby Beel could hear two doors shutting at the same time all the while noting that the plate of croquettes was left still forgotten on the kitchen counter.

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Hilda and Oga both had remained in their respective rooms until evening and it wasn't until Misaki said something aloud that anyone really took notice.

"Beel-kun, where are your mother and father?" Misaki questioned as she leaned down near Baby Beel's sleeping form. He had been watching his favorite episode of Gohan-kun and had fallen asleep on the living room carpet. Misaki reached down to pick him up as she carried on talking to herself. "Probably caught up in another one of their ridiculous fights no doubt. Ah to be young."

"Looks like you will be crashing with your dear auntie tonight Beel-kun." Misaki said continuing to talk aloud.

"Good thing I have a king size, ne? Not like your lazy father who refuses to fork up his video game systems in exchange for a proper sized mattress."

"Misaki, where are Tatsumi and Hilda?" Misaki's mother inquired suddenly appearing in the room with their father in tow.

"Ah, good point. They both disappeared hours ago. I've been sitting with Beel-kun watching TV since."

It was suddenly as if all three members of the family shared the same realization as they stood silently thinking to themselves before looking up and shouting simultaneously to one another.

"Honeymooon!"

As Oga's mom took Beel into her own arms Misaki snapped her finger wittingly. "Now that I think about it I don't think they've ever mentioned having a real honeymoon and this is the only time I have ever seen Beel left entirely on his own for such a long period of time. He is always attached to one of them. I suppose they finally realized how much they love each other and are using this time to celebrate!"

Oga's father began to spill tears again. "The way Tatsumi has been carrying on lately fighting with our dear Hilda-chan I was beginning to think my son was really the incapable lout of a father I suspected him to be the day he brought home his wife and child and refusing to take responsibility! How wrong I was!" He cried, his head buried into the carpet in his usual groveling manner.

"Things really do work out in the end don't they!" Oga's mother added clasping her hands together excitedly.

"Alls well that ends well!" They all cheered.

For a brief moment Beel shuffled in his sleep, but no one seemed to notice.

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Oga was dreaming. Of course he didn't know this as much was the case with all of his other dreams regardless of how strange or ridiculous they were, but nevertheless he was dreaming.

And from what Oga could tell it wasn't going to be pleasant. When Oga looked up he found a gigantic dragon with three heads pinning him to the floor. It was yellow and black and spitting hellfire in all directions and Oga could do nothing but lay annoyed and confused beneath it.

In the distance he could faintly see Kuneida dressed in her usual training uniform waving her sword around but something was holding her back. Next to her Furuichi was shouting and throwing rocks with Lamia while Alandailon stood beside them pointing and shielding his eyes in a cowardly but frantic manner, however, nothing seemed to help. Oga was entirely powerless and he felt as if his entire body was glued to the floor.

But he wondered where was Beel and Hilda and why weren't they trying to help him like the others?

That's when Oga looked up and as if on cue baby Beel came floating into the picture. He had wings, but a kind which were much different from the normal ones he donned when in his super milk phase. No, in fact these wings were feathery and white and behind it was a matching sling filled with arrows. Beel was also holding what looked like a bow in both hands and most surprisingly of all he had on a white diaper.

"Baby Beel, what the hell are you doing dressed like that? And can you help me out already? I'm starting to lose the feeling in my legs." Oga cried out trying to push the dragon off of him.

"Dabu." Beel replied calmly and reached for one of the arrows in his sling. Readying his arrow with a very concentrated look appearing on his face Beel aimed for the dragon and released it sending it flying straight for the dragon's heart. It landed with a pop and a big white cloud of dust appeared as a result and Oga's vision was completely blurred.

When Oga came to he was in his room and the weight he had felt before still remained, but as he looked up something had taken the dragon's place. This something was about ten times smaller, slender and blonde.

"Hilda. What the hell are you-"

"Shh." She responded placing her finger to his mouth. "Not a sound, Tatsumi." She whispered in his ear. Oga raised a brow.

_I'm still dreaming._

He reasoned. It had been a while since she had called him by that name and with the way they had ended things off earlier that day, there was no other explanation for her to start giving him any special treatment. He was definitely still dreaming.

Although, he took note that Hilda was dressed as she normally appeared to him whenever they were to pass between the bathroom and their bedrooms each night. She had on one of her regular night gowns courtesy of Misaki and her hair was out of its braid and hanging loosely behind her. She seemed in all respects very real, but he was sure this was a dream because here she was sitting on top of him in his bed and neither of them had moved an inch. So, Oga came to the conclusion that like most of his dreams he just had to go with the flow and if he was dream Oga and this was dream Hilda there was absolutely no reason for alarm.

"Hilda…" Oga started again coolly. Oga laid perfectly still before continuing. "What are you doing?"

Hilda only continued to stare at him with a hand planted on either side of the mattress trapping him in.

"I wanted to…" She started leaning down closer. "…do something."

Her eyes looked glazed over and even though it was a dream it was as if Oga could feel the heat from her skin radiate through his shirt as she moved to place her hands on his chest.

"Something that involves you and me in this position?" He questioned referring to the fact that he was still very much trapped beneath her.

"Yes." Hilda replied matter of factly.

Oga could not figure out for the life of him why his dream self was going along with all this, but he couldn't deny that his dream body was definitely enjoying it.

He had had dreams about women before but they usually went a little like Street Fighter where every woman he encountered came with a little life bar above their head and he was usually dressed in a traditional martial arts uniform with the sleeves ripped off. And any time they landed in this position it was usually because his opponent was doing some kind of choke hold on him or something.

But this was Hilda, not some video game girl in a Chinese outfit with chops sticks in her hair. Why on earth was he dreaming about her?

"Is this the part where you kill me?" Oga questioned.

"Stop talking." Hilda replied seductively leaning down till her mouth was hovering over his and her hair hung down like a curtain around them. "Just let me try something."

It happened so fast that Oga barely had any time to react to it before he realized that Hilda was kissing him.

Hard.

And As she did so she leaned her body into his until she was laying flush against him and he found her biting at his lip. He found himself immediately reacting to it in more ways than one.

Oga couldn't make any sense of it but he felt like his body and mind were being entirely taken over and the fact that he felt completely okay with everything was becoming less and less of a shock to him.

_Man, this is actually turning out to be a pretty ok dream. _

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_When Oga felt Hilda slip something warm and wet into his mouth he was pretty sure it was her tongue and mixed in with the sensation of her forehead warm and pressed against his with her hot breath sending surprising chills down his spine, he was hoping and praying he wouldn't wake up before it all ended. It all felt ridiculously real and he would thank his lucky stars that despite a lack of luck, he would remember to thank the higher lords later for granting him with such a powerful imagination._

_After what felt like hours of mind tingling lip biting and tongue sucking Oga was shocked when Hilda wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling his ear toward her lips to whisper,_

"_I want more." his mind went reeling, throwing out any further thought and replacing them with pure instinct. _

_Oga pulled Hilda under him and planted his knees on either side of her waist before leaning down and continuing to kiss her. As he did so his hands moved upwards pushing the fabric of her dress to expose only her panties and waist while his hands grazed either sides of her thighs. _

"_Hilda…" He spoke against her skin as he kissed his way down her stomach peeling her underwear away as he continued to kiss all the warmest parts of her body. "Why does this feel so real?" _

_She didn't respond. And instead she pulled his head back up to meet hers and kissed him even more fiercely as she wrapped her arms at his back and peeled his shirt off of him. She eyed his body for a moment in the dark, marveling at the way the shadows hit his finely toned chest. Hilda spread her delicate hands along his muscles and stopped when her hands grazed over the Zebub symbol on his hand, pulling it toward her lips to kiss the inside of his palm. _

_In turn Oga pushed her arms down over her head and pulled the dress off completely exposing her full breasts to him in the shaded light. Despite the sheer beauty of her body laid out bare before him Oga took his time working his way from her neck to the valley between her breasts, licking and nipping the skin as he moved along her body, before finally wrapping his lips around her pert nipples and sucking at the delicate skin surrounding. Hilda curved into Oga as she placed her hands into his hair and her own blonde locks draped his pillow, her body bowing off his bed as deep breaths of air escaped her lips. _

"_Enough. Put it inside… now." She demanded suddenly, her voice quivering as she pulled Oga's face to hers. _

_Oga didn't respond. Instead he quickly rid himself of his shorts, looked at her for a second with that same determined look he gets before a battle he's sure to win before reaching under her thighs, spreading her legs apart leaving space for him to sit snuggly between her. _

_With one hand beside her waist and the other guiding him toward her Oga placed his thickness at her entrance feeling her warmth and slickness vibrating off her skin and sending even more heat to his erection so much that he felt like he would explode even before they'd begun. _

_But in his usual fashion, Oga was not one to be outdone or to back down from a challenge, so he charged forward holding his breath as he pressed his length into her folds. As he did this Hilda responded by urging him with her legs and feet pressed at the base of his back, her head pressed into his pillow and her breasts heaving before him. _

_She was watching him with half lidded eyes, surprisingly calm, but Oga had to remind himself that she wasn't just any woman and that there was probably more pleasure happening for her than pain at that instant. Oga felt immediately hard and empowered at the same time, both from the feeling of watching Hilda react in a way he had never seen her before and also from the tightening feeling he was experiencing inside of her from his initial thrust._

_As he allowed his rhythm to take ease Oga watched as the effects of his timely thrusts washed over Hilda. Her eyes were closed and her cheeks were flushed and in the dim light she looked so human to him. The sensation was too much for Oga and it was something he couldn't compare to any battle. He was drowning in lust just from watching and feeling her and despite that familiar urgency he had when it came to fighting this urgency seemed to bring both him and Hilda only mounting pleasure in return. _

_Oga was also absorbed by every little move that Hilda's body made. Just like the balance they experienced when fighting alongside one another there also seemed to be a balance in the way they moved together. When he would thrust forward she would meet him with equal strength rolling into him in perfect timing. When he would grip her side, his thumb pressing just below the curve of her breast, she would grip his back, wrapping her arm underneath his till her fingers were pressed at his shoulder, and when he moved to kiss her, starting at the base of her neck and moving his way up hungrily until he reached her lips, she matched it by kissing her way down his throat only stopping to give attention to the dips and curves of his muscles that she found along the way. _

_Still, all the while Hilda was relatively silent and despite a few of the faintest gasps Oga could only feel not hear the pleasure she was experiencing. But it didn't bother Oga much. He was losing all thought and he was starting to lose his sense of time and space and rhythm and most of all the worry, because all he could pay attention to was the welling sensation Hilda's body was giving him. But it wasn't until she opened her mouth to let out a deep moan and she peaked out at him from behind blonde hairs to whisper that something was happening inside of her did Oga stop suddenly, his length pressing in deep as he ground into her, releasing himself as his knees and feet pushed firmly into the bed. _

_When the shaking stopped and their bodies relaxed Oga surprised Hilda by continuing to kiss her as his still hardened length remained resting in her warmth and she was only continually impressed by his stamina when he moved to take her still spread legs even closer against him, pulling her into his lap. _

"_Getting a little greedy aren't we?" Hilda teased as she wrapped her arms around his neck. _

"_Just trying to make sure we both get the most out of this dream." Oga replied stroking her back as he slowly began to thrust into her once again. _

"_Always… showing off." She replied between gasps. This position brought her even closer than she had expected and as her weight naturally sunk into him she pressed her heels into his back and pressed her forehead against his as she moaned, closing her eyes. _

_Oga was surprised himself as he listened to her, the pleasure reading across her face despite the stray hairs that hung loose covering her eye. _

_It was like Oga had found a new addiction. He couldn't get enough of this side of Hilda, her defenses down, so unbound and for the first time almost breakable. Just watching her so wrapped up in pleasure was enough to keep him hard enough to go all night. _

_He bucked against her even harder, thrusting upwards as Hilda slid into him simultaneously, her breasts pressed firmly and heaving against his chest. _

_And he knew when it was happening again when she placed both hands on his shoulders, gripping them until her nails were digging deep into his skin and she was crying out silently, spreading her lips and tightening her hold on him. _

_Oga could have sworn he heard her gasp out his real name, but of course he couldn't tell for sure. _

_After all, It was still just a dream. _

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_End of Chapter 2 _

_A.N- Hmm… the humor part quickly went out the window toward the end there. Oh wells, with good reason I hope! I also hope you all enjoyed this and I look forward to hearing what you think! _


	3. Chapter 3

No Way In Hell

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Disclaimer: I don't own Beelzebub any of the characters or its original storyline. They are all rightfully owned by the genius Ryuuhei Tamura. Power to the creator yall!

Summary: An innocent suggestion from Misaki and an over dosage of magical pills provided by the Demon Lord turns disastrous as Hilda and Oga are forced to deal with the horrifying aftermath of their "lovemaking".

A.N. – This is ridiculously late. I know. Trust me! I know! Don't stake me! But, rather than make excuses or explain how my life outside of fan fiction got in the way of updating, I'll let you get on with the story and hope that it meets up to your expectations. Also, I really love all the reviews from you guys! It means a lot to me that you guys take the time to give me written feedback! I'd really appreciate it if you guys could continue to review along with hitting that "favorite" button. Thanks again and on with the rest of the story!

Chapter 3

Hilda was not a woman of many things. On the contrary, she was only a woman of certain key things and it was these things that many people would come to associate with her over time.

When she was younger she had grown up with the idea that life was best spent alone. Before the Demon Lord had given her the chance to care for the young Master, her life relied on the fact that her personal worries would be less important than the worries of the person who would come to call her their maidservant. And regardless of the fact that she had spent the major part of her days training at the academy alongside her sister, most of the time it just felt as if she were completely on her own. Thus, it was during this time that Hilda became known for her calm and sometimes cold demeanor.

Still, she knew this, and she was comfortable with this information since it made her own life less complicated. Because without any added emotion she could spare every other thought on making sure the young master was cared for.

And this was what was most important to her.

However, it wasn't until Hilda started living in the human world that things started to change. Almost losing Oga and Beel and even herself on a number of occasions had changed her sense of preservation and her moments with the man and child and his family became so increasing that she was almost never alone. She even found herself referring to them as "her family" to the point where she'd find herself forgetting that she was supposed to be the cool collected demon that she had spent her days training to be. A demon focused on one thing only. A demon that wasn't supposed to have room in her life for a "family".

Actually, the major irony was that the more "family like" they became and the more demon like Oga became the more human she felt. It made absolutely no sense to her. And she hated when she could not make sense of situations that were supposed to be easily solved by someone in her position. Still, she couldn't explain it.

Then again she could not explain most anything that had happened lately. Nor could she explain why she was currently in the position she was in or the fact that Oga's naked form was resting beside her, his cheek flush with her shoulder, and his arm draped across her equally bare stomach.

She usually took a great amount of pride in her ability to sharply recall important details; however, this was definitely something she could not easily explain.

Of course until Oga groaned in his sleep, pulling her closer to tangle his rough legs with her own did her memories start to flood back to her and she realized just how familiar Oga's breath against her neck and the sounds he made in his sleep mirrored things she recalled from the previous night.

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_Hilda had fallen asleep for a few hours after watching the soaps she had recorded when it dawned upon her that she had not checked in with the young master. _

_As Hilda made her way down the steps she heard Misaki and Oga's parents talking from inside the living room. _

"_Misaki, where are Tatsumi and Hilda?" _

"_Ah, good point. They both disappeared hours ago. I've been sitting with Beel-kun watching TV since." _

_Upon hearing this it hit Hilda that she wasn't the only one who failed to leave their room in the last few hours. Did that mean Oga was avoiding her after what had happened earlier that afternoon? And how dare he refuse to keep an eye on the young master, granted she had a similar absence, but her lack of zest and energy lately was better than any excuse he had for sure. Those pills she took didn't seem to be working at all. _

_Nevertheless, according to Misaki it sounded as if Beel-kun was already fast asleep and taken care of, so there was really no point in disturbing the young master._

_As Hilda made her way up the stairs and toward her own room she was stopped short as she realized the door to Oga's room was wide open despite her noticing that all the lights were off inside. _

"_Oga…" Hilda spoke aloud to herself as she peeked in. _

_The man in question was laying on the bed and from her view it appeared as if he was fast asleep. _

_In the moments that followed Hilda entered with no apparent cause, and closed the door behind her with no reason at all, besides the fact that she very much wanted to. This she noted, was counterproductive to her usual nature, but she went with it just the same. It was a new feeling to Hilda, but she found herself in those moments very willing and eager to go along with whatever she was feeling, because those feelings were beating any sort of instincts she normally expected of herself. _

_And quickly before she could realize she was even doing it, Hilda was standing next to Oga's bed hovering above him. _

_He was deep in sleep, but from the way his eyebrows furrowed and his teeth grinded together it seemed as if he wasn't enjoying whatever thoughts he was experiencing. _

_When Hilda reached out to touch and smooth the crinkles between his brows Oga suddenly grabbed her by the wrist pulling her toward him until she was laying flush against his body. Hilda was surprised at first, thinking he was awake, but was shocked to realize that he was still deep in sleep, regardless of having just dragged her into bed with him. _

_Suddenly Oga's grip loosened and fell from her wrist to drop back down to his chest and she realized suddenly that she could make out all the hard defined contours of his body through the thin fabric of his shirt. Hilda suddenly wanted to see what was beneath so she swung her leg over his waist and straddled him just like she had done earlier that day leaning forward as her hair fell from her shoulders. On top of her new appreciation for Oga's overall physique, his manly scent seemed to put her senses into overdrive and Hilda lost all abandon at that point as she placed her palms against the hem of his shirt before sliding her hands underneath. _

_Surely in any other circumstance she would have reasoned against these actions at this point, but of course Hilda was completely unaware of the risk of what she was doing even when she was rudely interrupted. _

"_Hilda", she looked toward the noise and saw Oga's wide eyes staring up at her. _

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"Hilda", she looked beside her and saw Oga's wide eyes staring back at her. "What are you…"

"You're awake." Was all she could reply as she laid calmly, still draped under the same sheet as him, awaiting his next move.

"What the hell!" Oga pulled back, detangled his legs from her, and quickly scrambled to find his boxers while Hilda remained in her position, only moving to her side to lean against her elbow as she continued to watch Oga with a stoic expression on her face.

Once Oga had managed to get his right arm into his sleeve he pointed at her accusingly. "What did you do to me you demon? I mean it. Explain it to me right now! What the hell is this shit?"

"If you're implying that I care enough to do anything with a lowly human like you on my own accord then I suggest you remind yourself who you're dealing with." Hilda responded, sitting up and not bothering to cover her chest as Oga looked away, red faced and still clearly angry and confused over the whole ordeal.

"But, if it isn't already obvious enough, I'll tell you. There was definite courtship involved and I'm pretty sure it happened more than once, and down there too if I remember correctly." Hilda pointed toward Oga's floor with a half lidded disinterested expression as she attempted to slip her gown back on.

"Are you kidding me?" Oga scratched his head, still processing, "So all that wasn't just a dream?" He replied sitting back down on the bed while he placed both palms against his forehead and a troubled expression began to read across his face.

"A dream?" Hilda's baffled expression turned flat as she registered Oga's confusion. "Are you really that idiotic?"

Oga only looked back at her with a silent glare.

"It wasn't a dream, you fool. Don't you get it? We were clearly being controlled by something entirely beyond us."

"And how do you figure?" He responded pulling firmly at the tie on his boxers.

"Are you telling me you would have done all those things to me if that were not the case?" Hilda stopped short of braiding her hair to stare at Oga mockingly.

Oga stared back silently for a minute, weighing his odds mentally and kicking himself internally as all the events from the night before flooded back to him.

"Fine. We'll go with your story. But, I still want to know who the fucking lunatic is that's responsible for this mess."

Hilda ignored his comment as she attempted to smooth the creases in her night gown. There was definitely a lot of explaining to be done.

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"Lamia-chaaaan?"

A heavy sigh followed. "Yes, my Lord?"

"Isn't love so amazing?"

"Yes, my Lord." There was a brief pause that followed, not considering the demon lord's cheesy elevator music blaring in the background of his lair. "But, Lord it didn't exactly turn out as you had planned. I mean don't you think Hilda-chan and Oga-san will be angry when- "

"Lamia, what is love without a little corruption and remorse."

"I'm pretty sure that's not how the saying goes my Lord."

"Yes, exactly! It is a cool saying isn't it, Lamia-chan. Thank you."

Lamia rolled her eyes to herself briefly before she resumed brushing the Demon Lord's hair.

"Lord, can I ask you one thing?"

"Of course Lamia-tan!" He responded absentmindedly as he continued to file his abnormally long nails.

"How much did you… see exactly? I mean, between Oga-san and Hilda-chan that is."

Hearing this the Demon Lord threw his file into the air and slapped his hands against his cheeks.

"Lamia-chan! You naughty girl! Don't you think more highly of your Lord?" Lamia lingered on her response.

"Alright, alright! If you totally have to know, your mother installed a censor device. I was only allowed to see the before and after. But that's definitely like the most bestest parts, right Lamia-tan?"

"Yes, yes of course my lord."

Lamia sighed. She was going to have a crap load of explaining to do.

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"What the hell is this crap."

"Damn, Tatsumi. For someone that sounded pretty satisfied last night, you sure are in a bad mood." Misaki stated plainly as she stuck her fork into the mysterious glob that was breakfast.

"Shut up, Aneki. Mind your own business." Oga frowned looking down at his breakfast plate.

"Since Hilda didn't wake up this morning to make breakfast as usual, I didn't prepare anything and Dad had to run out and get what was left of the Tamago at the quickie stop." Oga's mom replied smiling.

"Beel seems to like it." Misaki stated pushing the plate toward the booster-clad baby who was filling his bowl happily.

At that moment Oga's dad walked into the living room with a beer in hand.

"Dad, little early for you, isn't it? Hand it over!" Misaki intervened as she stood up from the table.

"Never too early!" He responded pulling the can away and swatting Misaki who plopped down on the couch beside him. "Speaking of, Tatsumi-kun, aren't you going to be late for school?" Oga's dad reminded from his usual seat in front of the television.

"I'm waiting for Hilda. I don't know what's taking her so damn long." Oga replied grabbing the usual bag of formula.

"Just tell her to meet me and Baby Beel there. I don't want to deal with another one of Saotome's bitching rants about strength and art reflecting life."

"Alright, but don't you think you're forgetting something?" Misaki pointed out as she stopped Oga before he made his way out of the living room.

Oga looked down and briefly noted that the formula, his clothes and what few efforts he made to prepare for school seemed to be in the usual working order.

Misaki raised a brow at her brother before pointing to the baby still poking at the morning leftovers that seemed to be sliding away from him.

"Oh, right." Oga grimaced and swiped up baby Beel before quickly rounding the corner and running out the door.

"Hm, he's acting strange." Misaki spoke aloud as she stared off after him before grabbing the beer can out of their dad's hand and taking a sip absentmindedly, forgetting minutes later that the resounding suspicions ever crossed her mind.

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As it turned out, Oga did end up forgetting something – his lunch. He was seated in his usual spot on the roof next to Furuichi who was frowning bitterly as he watched Oga eat his bento that Alaindelon had so graciously prepared.

And it wasn't until Furuichi had said something that he even noticed he had been staring off in complete silence.

"What's taking her so long? I'm starving! And you just had to take my lunch didn't you? Geeze, this wouldn't have happened if you had just given Hilda a ride."

Oga immediately choked on his rice.

"What did you say!" Oga yelled spitting his food out.

"What? I said you should have given Hilda a ride on your bike." Furuichi retorted suspiciously, not exactly sure of what had caused such a reaction from his tense friend.

"Oh." Oga replied, returning his attention back to the baby before him who was urging for more food.

"You know you're acting kind of funny. Are you feeling some sort of side effect from when Hilda gave you that massive blow to your head?"

"Hey!" Oga shouted jumping to his feet, "What the fuck are you getting at!" He yelled grabbing Furuichi by the collar and sending his bento flying to the floor in the process.

"Woah! Nothing! I was just wondering if you were still feeling weird from the other night when Hilda punched you in the face for talking about her chest!" Furuichi defended throwing his hands up.

Oga relaxed his grip on Furuichi's shirt and straightened himself before looking toward Beel who seemed to be holding back tears as he gripped the one chopstick he had in hand, making a point of the spilled food on the floor.

"Aw, crap. Furuichi, look what you made me do." Oga replied suddenly calm and recovered.

"Me?" Furuichi protested, his frustration unnoticed by either the baby or his friend. "Really, Oga. What's gotten into you? There's something wrong isn't there. That's why Hilda didn't come with you!"

"Furuichi, I'm begging you. Just, please… stop talking." Oga sat down cross legged by Beel as he rubbed his temples, trying to force the innuendos from his brain.

"Oga-chi!" A voice suddenly interrupted and Oga looked up to see the familiar face of that Red Tails chick who always wore that flower and spoke like a teenage boy.

"Hanazawa-san!" Furuichi pointed out, noting the urgency in her voice. "What's wrong?"

Yuka quickly rushed toward the two males. "Oga-chi, it's your wifey! She like passed out near the main entrance of the school or something! Everyone was gathered around her and I could barely see what happened, but she was knocked cold and her hair was all in her face but I could tell it was her just by the size of her jugs! But I doubt it was a fight or anything since no one who's anyone would try to mess with your Bride! 'Cept maybe Onee-san! But I aint bettin it was her! Even though rumor is she was the first at the scene! Kanzaki-sempai saw the whole thing and he said you might be up here and turns out you are! Last I saw they had to carry Hil-Hil away to the nurse's office! It was just crazy!"

Oga didn't bother responding, instead he quickly snatched up Beel and ran toward the door and toward the nurse's office with the impending feeling that whatever was wrong with Hilda it was somehow his fault.

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When Oga reached the infirmary he looked inside to find an empty room. Hilda was nowhere to be found and as he contemplated what he was about to do next he realized someone was standing before him.

"Kuneida." He said steadily. Aoi stood with her arms crossed, a slight look of worry painted across her face. "Where is she?" Oga asked as she approached them, her glance moving over to Beel who was still holding back tears.

"Lamia and Alaindelon came and took her away as soon as the nurse left. They said they would do some tests on her to see if they could figure out what the problem is. Either way Oga, you should go home. With Hilda collapsing out of the blue like that all the classes have been cancelled. All the teachers think it's some sort of flu epidemic. It's the only logical explanation for them. So, I wouldn't waste my time here if I were you. Go home and give Hilda-chan my regards."

Oga nodded and Furuichi mirrored, as he struggled internally whether or not to feel jealous of him or compassionate for all the women in Oga's life.

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When they reached Oga's home and Alaindelon nearly crushed Furuichi in a death defying embrace, Furuichi settled on the fact that he would feel neither jealousy or compassion and just hatred toward Oga for bringing him moments like this.

"Let, go of me. I said I'm fine."

"Yes, but Takayuki. Oga-san's parents had said they found Hilda-san spewing up her insides this morning, but she insisted on going to school even though they said it might be the flool."

"The flu." Furuichi replied gritting his teeth.

"I was so worried you might have had it too! Thank goodness you're safe."

"Not with you around!" Furuichi yelled smacking the gigantic tank-top clad man away from him.

Lamia stifled a laugh and then collected herself as she realized there was a serious issue to be dealt with.

"What is it? Is she dying?" Oga asked, his arms crossed as he hovered over her sleeping body.

"No, don't worry. It's nothing like that." Lamia replied walking over to him.

"Then why is she passed out cold?" Furuichi asked moving to stand beside the two as Alaindelon had become distracted with tending to Baby Beel.

"And why is there a bucket of black tar looking puke next to the bed." Furuichi pointed, leaning down toward the mystery substance in question as he held his nose.

"Don't touch! I just tested that." Lamia lurched at Furuichi as he bent down to examine the goop.

"Lamia, just tell me what's happening to her." Oga interrupted, unable to take his gaze off of the blonde woman tucked into his sheets.

"Well…" Lamia sighed, moving toward Oga as she scratched her head attempting to continue, "to put it simply… we have a gigantic problem."

"More specific?" Oga urged.

"I did some tests… and believe me I did them more than once. It's so ridiculous a thought that I still can't believe it myself, but I've never made a mistake, ever and I even had some samples sent to the doctor, but as it seems my suspicions were correct."

"Get to the point." Oga replied growing impatient.

"The good thing is at least we already know you make a pretty good father!" Lamia attempted to make light of the situation by smiling, but her attempts were futile as she noticed Oga's expression.

Oga stared plainly, frowning. It seemed the weight of Lamia's words were taking the usual snail like speed to reach his brain. Oga turned to his friend beside him. He figured he'd be better off at translating the young demon assistant's diagnosis.

"Furuichi, want to explain to me what this runt is talking about?"

Furuichi turned to Lamia, his eyes filled with increasing shock and she nodded as if responding to him telepathically.

Furuichi's face went immediately red, from either embarrassment or anger and he immediately grabbed Oga by the shirt, mirroring the events from earlier that day.

"Oga! How could you!" He yelled with a touch of distress in his voice.

"How could I what?" Oga grabbed Furuichi's forearms in protest.

"To think you… and Hilda… that you…to her… and now this! This has to be a mistake!" He blurted out. The miracle was, Furuichi understood perfectly well, but the shock had reached his brain at lightning speed, overwriting all his other senses and Oga felt like he was talking to a parrot.

"What the hell are you two even talking about? Will someone just fucking spit it out already?"

"Oga, You... she…Hilda… she's!" Furuichi couldn't bare to say it.

"I'm just trying to figure out how you're going to fit another child on your back." Lamia spoke aloud to herself as she scratched her chin, paying no mind to the two men before her.

"What did you say?" Oga felt like the blood was being drained from his entire body as he turned his attention to Lamia, his grip on Furuichi loosening.

"Oga-san, Don't you get it? You're going to be a father! … Again!" Lamia attempted cheerily, sweat collecting at her brow.

You know those times when you have to rewind or play back what you just heard because your mind kind of just glazes over it. This was one of those times.

And this time Oga was the one to pass out.

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End of Chapter 3

A.N. Alright, so a lot of you probably saw that coming, I know! Lol, so I realize they did it only a chapter ago and already she's got a demon something-or-other in the oven, but… she's a DEMON. So, I figure I can pretty much work my way around that, right? Ha.


	4. Chapter 4

No Way in Hell

Disclaimer: I don't own the original Beelzebub story. All characters belong to their rightful owner.

A.N: I can't even begin to explain why this chapter took a year for me to finish and I'm pretty sure all that you want at this point is the next chapter and not some excuse for why I'm so dreadful. Trust me; I've received enough frightening hate mail regarding this to know that. But it's those of you that stuck by me despite my ridiculously long absence and wrote me such wonderful reviews that I want to thank so much and I dedicate this chapter to you guys. I hope it permits. And I can guarantee the next chapter is already on its way! But you'll probably believe it when you see it

Thanks again!

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No Way in Hell

Chapter 4

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Furuichi Takayuki could say many things about his personal character that he was sure most would agree with. For instance, he was without a doubt the most handsome and easily recognized male at Ishiyama Highschool. On top of this he was also highly respected by his peers and well known for being an untapped force of strength and charisma. And lastly, he was what one would call a true ladies man.

However, despite such a high degree of natural achievement, Furuichi Takayuki would be the first to admit that he had not yet lived a truly fulfilled life. For he did not yet have a hot wife, convenient power transmitting offspring and a cool tattoo, all of which his best friend Oga had gained in no less than the past year or so. Still, there was little that Furuichi could say harmed his reputation as the leading bishounen hero at Ishiyama High. All in all, he was well appreciated with devilish good looks and that was all a young man of his credibility could ever ask for. Yes, he was well respected indeed.

"Hentai, what the hell do you think you're doing?"

Lamia pressed firmly at the colored symbols on her remote control but was at a pure loss.

"What? I thought we already agreed I would take this route." Furuichi responded ignoring her glare as he kept his gaze forward.

"Loli ending? Why would I agree to something like that? It's as if you're deliberately proving everyone's point." Lamia deadpanned as she gestured toward the words on the television screen.

Furuichi rolled his eyes and continued to click rapidly at the buttons on his remote.

"We might as well. We already exhausted all the other routes. We've been playing this game all morning. When are they going to wake up?" Furuichi questioned looking behind them toward the comatose couple laid out in their respective positions, Hilda stretched out peacefully on the bed with Beel asleep beside her, and Oga sprawled out on the floor below.

"Just be patient. Waking them up on our own won't do any good. Do you know the damaging effects that can result from forcibly waking up a person after they've blacked out because of shock or exhaustion?" Lamia informed turning her attention away from the screen.

"Who cares about any of that? I want them to wake up so I can tell them how stupid they are! How could they? How could Hilda… I can't even say it." Furuichi buried his face in his hands.

Lamia dropped the remote and folded her hands across her chest rolling her eyes at the pitiful teenager sitting before her.

"And besides, what does it matter?" Furuichi looked up, the corners of his eyes moist with tears. "It's not as though Oga hasn't already been charred a hundred times by Beel or poisoned countlessly by Hilda. It's not as if enough damage hasn't already been done… to my heart!" He cried.

Furuichi got up on his feet.

"I need answers!" He stated firmly and attempted to lunge toward the sleeping Oga but was stopped at the ankle by Lamia's firm grip.

"Stop it, Furuichi! You're going to just cause a commotion and disturb Nee-sama! She needs her rest now that she's –"

"Don't say it!" Furuichi urged slapping his hands against his ears.

Lamia sighed and let go of Furuichi's leg before raising to her feet. Her lips tightened and her gaze grew suddenly serious.

"Okay, listen. I'm going to tell you something. But, you have to promise not to tell Oga or Hilda-nee-chan until I figure out what to do about all this." Lamia said gripping both of Furuichi's arms as they tensed at his sides.

"What –" Furuichi began nervously.

"I said promise!"

"Alright, I promise!" Furuichi responded, his expression faltering.

Lamia folded her hands together, turning her back to him before continuing.

"So, here's the story…"

Furuichi watched, a lump growing in his throat as he awaited Lamia's explanation.

"Hilda-nee-sama and Oga-san…may not be entirely to blame in this situation."

"How can they possibly not be at fault! They had-"

"Don't interrupt!" Lamia snapped turning around suddenly before continuing.

"The thing is. I might have…"

"You might have…?" Furuichi inquired leaning his body to peer at her.

"I sort of…"

Furichi's face flattened.

"You sort of…?" He urged.

"I sort of… secretly drugged the both of them into becoming sexually irresistible toward one another which may have led to the sexual activity that may have led to Hilda-nee-sama becoming pregnant." Lamia huffed. "…Or something of that nature." Lamia added, smiling nervously.

Furuichi's entire body turned gray.

"You WHAT?!"

Downstairs Oga's family stared at each other briefly noting whatever shouts were being heard from upstairs, but in no time were back to their breakfast, completely unfazed by the whole thing.

…..

..

…..

"Please tell me you have a good reason for doing this to me!"

"You mean to them?" Lamia quirked a brow.

"I mean to me!" Furuichi responded pain stricken.

Lamia frowned turning her body away despairingly.

"You don't understand!" Lamia threw her hands over her face and paced. "I had no choice. The Great Demon Lord requested it of me. What was I supposed to do?"

"Wait a minute! Wait a minute! That Great Demon guy asked you to do all this?" Lamia pulled her hands away and nodded.

"Why on earth would he do that? What is he some kind of super creep?"

Lamia plopped onto the carpet hugging her knees to her chest.

"It wasn't supposed to end up this way. The Great Demon Lord just wanted Hilda-chan and Oga-san to get along better. So, I planted these pills and somehow the both of them ended up overdosing. I never imagined it would lead to this! I mean a child born to a human and demon! This hasn't happened in a million years!"

"No kidding!" Furuichi responded falling into Oga's swivel chair trying to regain some composure.

"No, really. This hasn't happened in literally a million years." Lamia repeated affirming.

"Wait, you mean this has happened before?" Furuichi questioned suddenly curious at this new piece of information.

"Well, yeah. This isn't the first case in which a human and demon have produced feasible offspring. The story is famous in the Demon World." Lamia closed her eyes as she tried to remember how it was told.

"Literally a million years ago a human stumbled by accident into our world and fell in love with a Demon Contractor, implanting her with a child. But, the Great Demon Lord of the time was furious because he was deeply in love with her and he threatened to take the baby away, so the Demon Contractor made a deal with a young maiden witch who promised she could speed up the growth process of the child so that they could send the child away into hiding without the Demon Lord ever finding out."

"So, did it work?" Furuichi questioned curiously.

"Yes and no. She immediately gave birth to a demon monster that ended up killing them all along with entire villages."

Furuichi stared horrified.

"That's probably why there hasn't been another case like it in a million years. It was all just kind of a hassle to deal with." Lamia sighed stretching her legs out casually.

"Just kind of a hassle? Who's to say that won't happen again!" Furuichi said jumping out of his chair.

"I don't know! I'm just telling the story like I heard it! There's no telling if it's actually true!"

"Is it?"

"Well, yeah of course it is. But, this is an entirely different situation from that I'm sure." Lamia convinced.

"How is it in any way different?!" Furuichi panicked.

"Well, it's not… in any way actually." Lamia tapped her finger to her chin. "Why don't we just erase their memories?" She inquired.

"Agh!" Furuichi yelled pulling at his hair. "So, let me get this straight. Oga and Hilda have no idea that they are under a love spell?"

"None. I told Nee-san it was a strength supplement which was probably a bad idea to begin with and for some reason Oga-san ended up taking the same amount."

"How long does it last?"

"It's been about three days, so I'd say it will wear off in oh… three weeks."

"Three weeks! Are you kidding? This means we'll have to put up with this love love crap for three more weeks?"

"Since the pregnancy is a result of the potion and it will likely take that much time for Nee-san to give birth the effects of the spell will last an equal amount of time."

"So, there's not reverse potion or something?"

"Not any that I know of."

"You mean we have only three weeks before this thing comes tearing out of Hilda and killing us all?" Furuichi questioned his panic returning.

"Correct. Of course, that's just an estimate in Demon World terms." Lamia responded ever so calmly her attention back on her remote and the video game on the television screen before her.

"This is insane. Okay, we just need to think of a plan. I'm going to need some reinforcements. And for now don't say a thing to Oga and Hilda about the whole monster baby thing slash Demon Lord lust concoction."

"That's precisely why I said to keep it a secret from the beginning." Lamia deadpanned glancing back at Furuichi with a glare.

"Okay, good. It's settled then. We won't tell Oga or Hilda for now."

"Tell us what?"

Furuichi stiffened as he looked over and noted that Oga was already sitting up wide awake and very much conscious.

Furuichi glanced at Lamia nervously who could only shrug in return.

"Tell you that…"

Furuichi glanced down at the remote Lamia was holding and the video game console next to her before quickly crushing it in with his foot.

"Hey!" Lamia interjected.

"Tell you that your video game is broken!" Furuichi responded uneasily.

"What the hell! It was working just fine!" Oga yelled moving over to examine the little black box that was now emitting smoke. "What did you do to it? Are you on some kind of drug or something?"

_No, but you are. _Furuichi thought to himself.

"Well, whatever it is you're buying me a new one. You're lucky I don't kick your ass for ruining this one." Oga replied picking up the non-functioning remote.

"T-thanks." Furuichi stated flatly watching Oga's every move.

_Why hasn't he mentioned anything yet? _

Oga wiped his nose with the back of his hand and walked over to Furuichi while tossing the remote into his nearby waste basket.

"Ass kicking can wait I guess. I actually have something important I need to talk to you about." Oga stated digging his hands into his jean pockets before glancing over to where Hilda and Beel lay on his bed.

_Here it comes._

"What is it?" Furuichi asked impatiently.

"Just, something I need to talk about."

_Something you need to talk about? Yeah, maybe that you and Hilda had sex. Or maybe that you're actually going to have monster biological offspring..._

"Let's go talk in the hallway." Oga suggested grabbing Furuichi by the front of his shirt.

"Wa-wait!" Was Furuichi's only reply as he was dragged out into the hall by Oga who quickly shut the door behind them.

"So, here's the thing. I keep having these wild dreams that don't make a shit of sense. The first one was with Hilda… and well you don't need to know the details but somehow it lead to the second dream where that annoying bitch with the flower in her hair keeps whining to me about Hilda and then I'm suddenly in my room and Lamia and you are telling me I'm going to be a dad again and next thing I know I wake up and I'm on the floor of my room, Hilda and Beel are asleep on my bed and you guys are messing with my video game. So, anyway what do you think it all means? Am I losing it or what?" Oga finished off scratching his head.

All Furuichi could do was stare. He couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"You're kidding me right?" Furuichi questioned staring at the blank faced man standing before him.

"Pretty fucking crazy for a dream right? That's what I thought." Oga questioned smirking and scratching his chin.

"All that…" Furuichi muttered to himself before continuing.

"You remember all that…" Furuichi slowed down his thought, but was all of a sudden taken over by a surge of exclaim.

"And you still don't have the decency to tell me the details of your sex-capade with Hilda!"

Suddenly Furuichi felt a sharp blow to the face and recognized it came from Lamia who was suddenly standing in the hallway alongside them.

"Stop it Furuichi! Stop being such a damn pervert! This is serious." Lamia turned to Oga. "Oga-san, what you're saying is true. It wasn't a dream. You are going to be a father. We've gone through this and you passed out. Hilda-san doesn't know anything yet, but don't worry I take full responsibility for telling her everything, after all it is kind of my fault-" Lamia threw a hand over her mouth catching herself, but it was too late.

"Wait so it wasn't all a dream? I …I really am going to be a dad again? And with Hilda?" Oga stared off into space as his freak out scale rose to a dangerous level. "…Shit."

Gripping his head in his hands Oga slipped down the doorframe lost in his own thought but was quickly snapped out of it as he mentally replayed her words.

"Wait, what the hell do you mean it was your fault?" Oga frowned looking up at the pink haired girl standing nervously above him.

"I…"

_Ugh. There's no way around this._

""I sort of… secretly drugged both you and Hilda-nee-chan into becoming sexually irresistible toward one another which led to Nee-chan becoming pregnant." Lamia finished, smiling nervously for the second time that day.

What could only be described as the deathly silence followed by the harsh sound of knuckles cracking that Oga reserved for fierce opponents and the like was heard. He didn't lift his head but instead replied in a very low deafening voice.

"I would probably kill you if you weren't a girl." Another crack. "or small." Another crack. "or pink."

Lamia crossed her arms and huffed.

"Please, you were the idiot that swallowed a ton of pills without any instruction. I just happened to lay the trap. Only dumb animals succumb to doom on their own." Lamia replied mockingly closing her eyes and turning away from the fuming Oga.

"You little-!" Oga raised his arms as if to strangle Lamia but was stopped short.

"It isn't her fault." Furuichi spoke up.

Oga looked up to Furuichi. "If not. Then who?"

Furuichi tightened his fist. "The Demon Lord." He responded affirmatively.

Lamia's head snapped up to look at the silver haired man standing next to her.

"Furuichi!"

"He was going to find out anyway." Furuichi said looking down at her. "It was supposedly all the Demon Lord's plan to mess with you and Hilda, but I guess things backfired. And that's not even the worst part."

Oga crossed his arms.

"There's a chance that the child Hilda is carrying could be a monster. That possibly kills people… and eats them." He added gulping.

Oga stood up, revealing his face and the murderous yet determined expression planted on it.

Another crack.

"That old tard better be ready for me. If he doesn't fix this I'm going to kill him myself."

…..

..

…..

"I don't know Alaindelon, do you think I'm ready to be a blonde? It just seems like such a big commitment, yet it's such a wildly popular color, I mean there's Hilda… and Yolda… and that fox fellow with the whiskers that everybody seems to like so much. I think I'm revered enough for such a color, don't you agree?"

Alaindelon nodded not knowing how he even got in the position he was in but complied just the same.

"Lord, ah pardon me, but is there a particular reason you called upon me today?"

"Yes, Alaindelon, Since Lamia is being so mean and ignoring my calls, I would like you to tell me how our dear Hilda and that human are faring. Tell me, Is it just everything we dreamed it would be, Alaindelon?"

"I'll give you something to dream about you piece of shit." The Demon Lord frowned in annoyance as he noted Oga's hell raising form stepping out of Alaindelon through the reflection in his monitor.

"I know not of this "peace of shit" you speak of but I will tell you one thing, I am so totally not him." The Demon Lord assured closing his eyes and folding his arms over his head all whilst refusing to turn his chair to acknowledge Oga.

"The human I presume?"

"Listen, I don't have time for this formal greeting crap. I barely wanted to come here to begin with. Just tell me how to fix Hilda so I can get the hell out of this place. It smells like dragon ass in here."

"How rude. Duh, It's boiled newt. And I was totally going to consider thinking about letting you watch as I enjoy some too."

"Will you get to the damn point already? I know you already know why I'm here since I can see myself on your fucking creep camera. What do I have to do to fix Hilda?"

"Hmph. How like you humans. Always demanding this and demanding that. It's like so much more complicated than you can imagine! I wouldn't dream of trying to "fix" our dear Hilda because it's simply not possible."

Oga clenched his fists.

"What are you saying I have to just continue letting this monster thing grow inside Hilda? What if it kills everyone?"

"Hm… yes I see your point still I totally only see the benefits for me in that situation. "

Oga's patience at this point was warring gravely thin.

"But, let's not get ahead of ourselves here. Okay human, I'll be so completely honest with you right now because I'm such a wildly generous person. The truth is I can't fix Hilda because I wasn't the one who created the spell. I simply asked that it be done but it was so totally not even my doing you see? It could only be fixed by someone that understands the ramifications of such a fancy dancy spell."

"You telling me Lamia is the only one who can undo this?"

"Yes and no! Lamia may have created the pills but she is like not even close enough to engineering the kind of power it takes to undo the kind of naughty love love feelings you and Hilda-chan have generated for each other. Courteous hand holding yes, but such lewdness as you've encountered. So not doable!" The Demon Lord finished by slapping his hands to his face coyly.

Oga's face seemed to be melting to the floor as he absorbed the Demon Lord's ridiculous explanation.

"What the hell am I supposed to do then?"

"My only suggestion is to ask her mother! She is super-duper smart. She can for sure break the spell!"

…..

..

…..

"Laymia? Are you kidding me? He said that Laymia is the answer to breaking the spell?"

"Ya. I don't even know why I was expecting to get a real answer out of him to begin with. That guy is a total nut."

"Actually, I can see why he would say that. My mother is-"

"A crazy bitch. We know. She tried killing us remember?"

Lamia quickly kicked Oga square in the face before continuing.

"I was going to say she is not only a formidable opponent, but very wise when it comes to spells and cures. I learned everything I could from her before I started studying under the doctor's guidance."

"Still. There's no way Laymia will agree to curing the both of you. She'd only ever agree with a plot that results in you being dead. Did the Demon Lord say anything about what to do with little Oga?"

"Just that it's too soon to tell if the thing is any danger and that if we don't want help from Laymia we're going to have to figure out another plan on our own. And don't call it that you bastard!" Oga yelled suddenly grabbing Furuichi by the shirt.

"I'm kidding! If Hilda's baby doesn't end up being a monster it'll no doubt be an ogre anyway with you as its father!" Furuichi laughed as Oga raged.

"Baby?" Furuichi, Lamia and Oga who had obviously forgotten that she was even in the room all turned to see the newly conscious Hilda sitting with Beel in her lap looking very stern as she awaited an answer.

"Ah… Hilda-nee-chan. We can explain… you see…"

"Lamia is it true?" Hilda repeated seemingly able to piece the information together light-years quicker than Oga and with far more grace from what they could see.

Lamia nodded.

Hilda proceeded to nod calmly in return as she handed Baby Beel towards Lamia and quietly stepped out of the room.

"Where is she going?" Furuichi questioned as the other two stared at each other and shrugged.

Suddenly the sound of a crash and a loud scream could be heard outside of the room and the three ran into the hallway to find Hilda being held back by Misaki who had her hands pinned behind her. On the floor beside them was Hilda's umbrella unsheathed.

"Hilda what the hell are you doing!" Oga yelled trying to help Misaki as he reached to grip Hilda.

"Tatsumi! What the hell did you do this time? I found Hilda-chan trying to run herself with her umbrella sword thing!"

"Misaki, she's fine just take Baby Beel okay we have to talk to Hilda real quick!" He asked as the three rushed Hilda back into his room.

"Are you stupid or something! What were you trying to do?" Oga yelled as they tried to sit Hilda back onto the bed.

"There's no point in my existence if I can't even succeed in being a proper maid servant to the young master! I've failed!" Hilda urged, turning to Oga, who had never seen the woman with such a look of distress.

"Hilda-nee-chan! No, don't say that! It isn't your fault! It's my fault I'm so sorry!" Lamia cried wiping her face.

"Lamia…" Hilda grabbed the young girl's hand before continuing. "Regardless of how this came about, it is my responsibility to care for the young master. My sole purpose is to be there unconditionally for the sake of his growth here. If I have something in me that prevents me from doing so what is my worth to him then? How can I focus on my duty to the young master when my body is no longer my own?"

Hilda suddenly felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Hilda. Listen to me. Whatever it is that's in you whether or not it's a monster or a demon or some goofy looking kid just like Beel, its just as much a part of me as it is you. You're not alone. You still got me and Beel and I'm going to make sure nothing happens to either of you so you can stop being an idiot. If I have to live to see whether or not this thing kills us then you do too. You got it?" Oga replied sternly.

Hilda only looked to Oga and nodded before saying something Oga didn't think he'd ever hear.

"Thank you. Tatsumi."

Silence shifted between the two and for a moment Furuichi and Lamia found themselves looking back and forth between the pair.

"Ah… Oga? Hilda? I know this might seem like a delicate time to mention this, but it might be a bad idea for you two to be around each other right now. If you get what I mean." Furuichi quickly added.

Oga quickly snapping out of his daze turned to Lamia.

"Furuichi's right. Hilda-nee-chan, how about we get some fresh air?" Lamia asked coaxing Hilda to stand but was stopped short by Furuichi.

"Hold on Lamia. That … might not be a good idea afterall." Furuichi pointed out to Lamia with his gaze as he began to sweat again.

"What is it?" Oga questioned, the last as usual to catch on before his eyes narrowed down to whatever Lamia and Furuichi were focused on.

As Hilda stood Oga focused closely on the things he so usually identified with Hilda, tight black dress, leather and faint curve in her midsection.

_Wait a minute. _

"Shit."

…..

..

…..

Next Chapter: "I'm pretty sure no one will believe Hilda is just retaining water."

A.N. There will be more spell induced smut next chapter so those of you that enjoy those kinds of scenes look forward to that! ;)


	5. Chapter 5

No Way in Hell

Chapter 5

A.N: Phew! This is my longest chapter yet. It's gotten pretty hard trying to balance Hilda and Oga's usual personality with their spellbound one... especially in the naughty scenes! So bare with me! I hope you guys continue to enjoy where this story is going and as always your feedback feeds my brain! Thank you!

*Forewarning! As mentioned, there are adult "love love" moments in this one and they aren't italicized! ;)

….

..

…..

. ..

Misaki Oga had long since given up her post as the infamous front woman of the Red Tails. This was not a secret to those that knew her well and to those that only had a vague idea of the woman she was it was also a safe bet to say that she lived quite a leisurely life after leaving her post. No longer hurdling on the coat tails of adolescence and rather taking a quiet stroll through young adulthood, Misaki spent her days the way an average young woman would; sleeping in late, catching up on mid afternoon soaps, and enjoying the occasional ice popsicle or two. So, it was also safe to say that Misaki knew the ins and outs of what generally went on at home. Though no longer the glue of the red tails she once knew, she was still the glue of the household and probably the only one with any sense for that matter.

After all, she hadn't earned the right to call herself leader for nothing. Her keen ability to pick up on things was just as strong as her natural leadership skills and though she rarely showed it, if there was anything fishy going on she would be the first to notice. On a daily basis, her mother could generally be found distracted by something or other while her father on the other hand seemed to be unaware of literally everything. Not to mention that her brother was hardly ever home these days and when he was he only seemed to be causing some kind of commotion.

Granted, as long as she could remember her little brother was always getting into some kind of trouble. She guessed she could take some of the blame for that. After all, not everyone could say that their big sister was the leader of a very powerful association of woman ready to kick ass. It was probably a lot of pressure to deal with for her little bro and therefore she had to cut him some slack every now and then.

However, Misaki found that despite all the unexplained events that had culminated in the past year or so, what with her little brother bringing home a wife that she was still certain was too good for him, random people appearing in their living room and being made an aunt far too young, things definitely seemed strange lately. Especially between Tatsumi and Hilda. And this she unfortunately could not let pass.

Misaki thought back to a week prior when she had first witnessed Tatsumi and Hilda's strange behavior take effect.

_"Tatsumi! What the hell did you do this time? I found Hilda-chan trying to run herself with her umbrella sword thing!"_

_"Misaki, she's fine. Just take Baby Beel okay? We have to talk to Hilda real quick!" _

And even before that when Misaki found Baby Beel alone in the living room.

_"Misaki, where are Tatsumi and Hilda?" _

_"Ah, good point. They both disappeared hours ago. I've been sitting with Beel-kun watching TV since."_

The more she thought about it the more things seemed strange. Of course, she had gotten used to strange things happening in her household as they'd been that way since as long as she could remember.

But, more recently there was the noticeable factor that their house had suddenly turned into a dormitory for her little brother's eccentric friends, and this was something she could not get used to no matter how many beers she chugged down.

"Hilda-san. Feel free to make your turn." Misaki watched from her usual spot on the couch as the muscular woman with the mustache and bikini top spoke to Hilda-chan from behind a hand of cards.

They were all sitting at the dining room table playing an odd rendition of poker. Furuichi, Hilda, the loli, the woman with the mustache and a hologram of a blue Pokemon wearing a hat and tie.

"How many times must we play this? I've won again." Hilda replied calmly laying down her cards.

"Ah. Yes, you're right. Hilda-san. Then should we go fishing?" The manly woman inquired.

"It's called go fish. And none of you are playing this right! Lamia, Half your cards are upside down!"

"Mind your own business, Hentai. Maybe I like them this way."

"Takayuki-dono, how about my cards? How do they look?" The manly woman spoke shyly behind a hand of cards that were covered in hearts and romantic words of devotion.

Furuichi stared silently, a frown line prominently spread across his face.

"Why are you here again?"

The manly woman blushed coyly.

"Furuichi-dono, I … I was going to save the details for when we're in private but if you must know now..."

"Nevermind! Forget I asked!"

"We are here to support Hilda-san while simultaneously conducting necessary research."

Misaki stared on as the group continued to chatter cryptically. What was this blue Pokemon talking about? Why did Hilda-chan need aid? Aid with what? What were they researching?

"Support? You're supposed to be a doctor, right? Why don't you do something useful and tell us whether or not this thing is going to go Godzilla status in three weeks' time."

_Thing? What thing? What was happening in three weeks? The Godzilla marathon was on yesterday. _

Misaki wondered further.

"Furuichi! Don't talk to the doctor that way. Be patient. We're still waiting on Hilda-nee-chan's test results." Lamia snapped from behind her cards.

Furuichi rolled his eyes.

Test results? What was wrong with Hilda-chan?

"By the way, Hilda-nee-chan, If you like, I can sleep with you tonight! You know, keep an eye on you in case anything happens?" Lamia beamed.

"Wait a minute, I think we should vote on who get's to do the sex patrolling!" Furuichi immediately lurched forward, tossing his cards on the floor.

"Shutup Creepichi no one's going to do any sex patrolling, especially not you! I merely want to make sure Hilda-nee-chan is cared for."

"Yeah, right. Face it Lamia, you just want to see all the action for yourself in case Hilda and Oga decide to play monkeys in a barrel again!"

Misaki raised a brow. The questions just seemed to be piling up. What did Hilda and Oga need with a barrel and moreover why were they putting monkeys in it?

"Furuichi!" Lamia yelled turning red.

"I'm fine, Lamia. I am not incapable of sleeping unguarded. Should anything happen, I'm sure I will be able to act with proper restraint. Far more than that idiot human I'm sure." Hilda responded from her seat, her eyes closed as she sipped at her tea quite composed before looking over to Furuichi and whispering a fatal, "Please, Die."

It was at this point that Misaki decided to enter the conversation, pointing out what everyone else seemed to miss considerably during all the chatter.

"Ah, I was wondering... where is Tatsumi, anyway?"

Everyone looked at each other and then towards Furuichi who calmly replied,

"He's... clearing his head."

….

..

…..

. ..

Oga wiped the soot off his pants as he sauntered down the sidewalk having just leveled the last three blocks with his fist, a cloud of smoke following in his wake.

Beel clung to him as he tried to shake bits of cement out of his spikey green hair while Oga thought back to the night before.

"_What the hell is that?" _

"_Where exactly are you looking rat?" _

"_No, don't tell me…" Furuichi had said throwing his hands on his head in response to Oga. _

"_Hilda-nee-chan! It can't be!" _

"_How can she possibly be growing already? Is this normal?" Furuichi asked turning to Lamia, the stress in his voice returning. _

"_I-I don't know! I told you this is only our most recent experience with something like this! They don't write medical details in legends!" Lamia replied frantically. _

"_Well there's no way in hell she's going out like that. People are going to start asking questions and I don't need that shit right now." _

"_Who do you think you're speaking for you prick?" _

"_Oga sort of has a point. I'm pretty sure no one is going to believe Hilda is suddenly retaining water… for no reason." Furuichi pointed out. _

"_Hilda-nee-chan, I-I'll go ask Misaki-san for some loose clothing. At least for now we can try to cover it up." _

Oga sighed. No matter what he did to avoid it, trouble just seemed to creep up on him ready to turn his life into a shit spree at every turn.

There was no ignoring it. Here he was a regular guy just trying to deal with the crap he already had to worry about on a daily basis and without even asking for it he was going to be a dad. Granted, it was still questionable whether or not he was going to be father to some blonde one eyed goth kid or a fire breathing dragon, either way, for the time being he was going to be someone's real life dad.

Truthfully, that wasn't even the real problem. Though he'd rather be punched in the face before admit out loud that he really already felt like a dad. Before Beel, he never really thought he'd ever be able to earn the right to call himself someone's dad. But, in the time since Beel came into his life and short of those random annoying as hell moments when his crap biological demon father had popped in, he had sort of forgotten that Beel wasn't actually his real son.

Oga turned to look over his shoulder at Baby Beel who had his arms folded on his shoulder, his eyes in the typical flat and disinterested fashion that he shared with him as he sighed, exhausted from all the damage therapy his pseudo-father had so willingly just committed.

Baby Beel looked up, blowing raspberries incoherently from behind his binky as Oga patted his head.

No, the real problem wasn't becoming a father.

The real problem was how he was going to tell his already existing son.

"That side is all clear!" Oga looked up hearing a familiar voice and immediately noticed the rust colored hair, unruly sideburns and unmistakable scowl that belonged to none other than Toujo dressed in an orange jumpsuit and holding what looked to be some old person's cane.

"Yo." Oga replied walking closer as he realized he had made his way all the way to the park near his house where he had once taken Beel for his debut.

"Oga!" Toujou replied looking mildly surprised.

"You trying out some new fashion?" Oga asked pointing to Toujo's orange clad appearance.

"Nope, new job… parks and radiation." He muttered bending down to pick up a crumpled up piece of newspaper.

"You mean recreation?"

"That's what I said." Toujo replied.

Oga pulled a face but decided to ignore any further attempts to right Toujo's wrongs and placed Beel in the sand box as he moved to sit down on the park bench Toujo was idly cleaning under.

"What's your business here? Waiting to beat up some kids for their lunch money?"

"No." Oga replied plainly.

"Good. Coz, the moms here are pretty rough." Toujo said sticking another piece of trash in his garbage bag and pointing with his cane. Oga looked over and saw the mean faces of the women staring back at him, his expression unchanged.

"Nothing I don't already see from the women at home." Oga replied.

"That why you're walking around looking all bent out of shape? Women?" Toujo asked.

"Hilda." Oga responded.

"Oh, you're wifey." Toujo mumbled.

"She's not-!"

"So what is it?" Toujo asked suddenly curious.

"Nothing… It's just… she's…"

"Dead?"

"No."

"Killed someone?"

"No."

"Poisoned someone?"

"No."

"Been poisoned by someone?"

"No!" Oga yelled getting on his feet. "Well, not that exactly." He added.

"What then?" Toujo asked calmly moving over to the water fountain nearby to empty out some cola from a can he had picked up ignoring some old man shouting how it wasn't environmentally friendly.

"She's pregnant." Oga muttered not really caring that he was letting the cat out of the bag to someone like Toujo as he sat back down on the bench, his body slumping in the process.

Toujo was silent for a moment as he appeared to be thinking.

"My mom caught that too. Does she get night sweats and hot flashes too?"

"Isn't that something else?"

Toujo thought for a moment and then shrugged as he got back to his cleaning.

"Anyway, hope your bride gets better soon so you stop looking so pathetic and we can finish this fight we been putting off." Toujo replied dragging his trash bag behind him as he turned to leave. "Not while I'm on the job though."

Oga sighed and watched as Beel absently fought with a bouncy horse on a spring, failing to notice a quivering bush nearby and a very familiar fishing hat that quickly scurried off with a child in a kuma style beanie moments later.

….

..

…..

. ..

By the time Oga and Beel had gotten home everyone had already had dinner and was getting ready for bed. As Lamia had explained with her arms blockading him the moment he had reached the door, the pregnant demon nowhere in sight, she and Hilda and Misaki would be sharing a room, while he Furuichi, the Doctor, and Alaindelon (to Furuichi's horror) would be sharing his room.

Oga was too tired and exhausted to argue otherwise as he trudged upstairs with the sleeping Beel in his arms.

"Anyone else want to go first or should I coz I'm not dealing with any of you bastards jumping in the tub with me again." Oga replied looking around his room, particularly at Alaindelon who threw up his hands and looked toward Furuichi who desperately tried to ignore the man in the skin tight bikini top beside him.

Oga looked to Furuichi.

"Don't look at me, I take my showers in the morning."

And then to the doctor.

"I don't require such things."

Oga sighed and as everyone tucked in he promptly shut the door to his room and entered the hallway toward the bath.

Once in the bathroom Oga walked toward the shower but quickly decided that he was sore enough and well appreciating of a bath so he bent down to draw the water to the faucet when he heard the door to the bathroom crack open.

"I expect you'll be leaving after that's filled." Oga could recognize that cold luring voice anywhere. As he moved to turn his suspicions were correct and the blonde Goth demon was standing looking particularly normal with her hair hanging down all aside from the towel that was doing a poor job of covering her chest.

"Not a chance, demon. Wait your turn. "Oga replied ignoring her as he tightened the towel around his waist and reached to turn the faucet off.

"I will not bend to the childish demands of someone like you. Now step aside." Hilda replied as she approached the bath, attempting to push Oga in the process.

Instead, however, Oga's attempt to simultaneously block her from entering his well-deserved bath resulted in the both of them sharply slipping to the floor and at the same time causing Hilda's towel to fly open.

Upon seeing this and noticing that Oga could very much see everything himself, Hilda quickly snatched up her towel as she attempted to cover up.

"Look what you did you fool!" She replied turning her body away as she tried to recollect herself.

"That was obviously your fault. And it's nothing I haven't seen before." Oga stated flatly as he leaned back on his elbows, his towel on the other hand still intact as he continued to gaze at her.

"And stop looking at me like that!" Hilda yelled rising to her feet.

"Like what?"

"Like that! It's revolting." She glared, turning her gaze.

"You're well aware of why I'm doing it." Oga responded again as he made his own attempt to get onto his feet. "You were thinking the same thing. I saw where you were looking when you walked in."

Hilda attempted to argue but decided against it as her face turned redder.

"I change my mind. Take the damned bath you mongrel." Hilda replied her face flushed as she made an attempt to move toward the door without looking at Oga.

"Hilda." He called to her suddenly stopping her before she approached the door to the bathroom.

"What do you think about this?" Oga asked honestly as he moved to sit on the edge of the bath tub.

"I think you're a rat."

"Not that."Oga replied simply as he continued with something Hilda didn't expect he'd even bother to question.

"What do you think about what happened? That night… and everything else."

Hilda's eyes widened for a moment before falling back into their usual calm condition. "I have no opinion."

Oga grimaced.

"I don't need to think about such trivial things." She continued. " I thought I made it clear that the only thing I'm concerned with is the young master."

"This concerns him too, don't you think? If it concerns you and me it concerns him, too."

Hilda paused. "What I mean to say is… I don't want to remember any of the things I felt that night." She responded still refusing to face him.

"So what _did_ you feel?" Oga continued approaching her.

Hilda paused again before continuing. "You know very well. You were there… idiot." Hilda finished quietly.

Hilda turned her head and Oga could swear she was turning red again. From anger or her own embarrassment he didn't know. Either way he liked it. "You're missing the point. My intent is not to be concerned with those feelings. It happened once, but spell or not I'm surely not going to let it happen again." She crossed her arms over her chest.

"Right." Oga crossed his arms against his chest mirroring her actions and closed his eyes. "Neither am I." He replied firmly before reopening his eyes to glance at her body from behind.

He approached her steadily and leaned against her gently so that his head was hovering near her ear.

Hilda didn't say anything and instead she closed her eyes while Oga's hot breath washed against the side of her neck.

She had her head bowed down but he could sense her expression. Her eyes were closed but from his angle he could see that she was biting her lips in anger…or rather… restraint?

"Tatsumi…" She began quietly, surprising Oga as he adjusted to the sound of his name. "We can't allow this to happen again. What we've done... it's only caused trouble for everyone."

"True." Oga uttered plainly. "But, on the other hand, what's done is done." Oga quickly reminded her. "It's not going to change how we're still feeling." He replied as he moved to place his hands on her hips where the towel hugged her curves.

"Besides," He muttered as he moved to trap her against the wall, her breasts pressed firmly against the tile.

"Looks like neither of us is going to resist…" He added, while his hands reached around her, to dip down beneath her towel and between her thighs. Her skin was already hot and moist where he touched her and he couldn't decide if it was from the steam that filled the room or her own body but regardless it didn't help to calm his growing arousal.

"Fool." She replied quietly. Her voice was unsteady and that was the only indication he needed to know he was right in continuing as he pushed his fingers easily past her folds and into her warm center.

Hilda cried out immediately and Oga was almost surprised that she was responding so quickly to him. His touches seemed to affect her a lot easier than the last time they did this.

Was the spell growing stronger? Or was it just her? Or was it the fact that she was pregnant? Either way Oga felt entirely consumed by lust and at that moment all he wanted to do was be inside of her again. And even though Oga knew this was all a result of the spell rather than his own feelings, there was no separating the two at the moment.

He needed her.

Oga lowered his head to kiss her shoulders before slowly running his tongue along the length of her neck, licking at the hot dewy drops of moisture collecting on her skin. Hilda shut her eyes and placed her forehead against the cool tile, sighing as she allowed his unoccupied hand to pull the towel free from her body and drop into a pile at her feet.

Before long Oga's towel had joined hers on the floor and he was left silently bracing the wall on either side of Hilda, his naked body pressed flush against her skin.

Hilda felt like she was being consumed by heat in all directions. The steam that had gathered from the forgotten bath, mixed in with their hot breath and the feeling of Oga's warm hands as they spread across her skin, they were all sensations that were both foreign yet familiar to Hilda.

After the first time, neither of them had any time to process much less try to understand the sensations they had experienced together. Truthfully, Hilda had never been with a human before, much less a man in general and it wasn't until her one and only experience with Oga that she had allowed herself to open up so vulnerably to someone.

This time was no exception and Hilda had to admit she was a little scared at what she was feeling.

She didn't know this side of herself. She hadn't known this side of her even existed until their first night. She had seen the adult dramas and had read about these scenes of affection in novels that Misaki had leant her. Hell, she could even remember those heart pounding emotions her alter ego had undergone, but even then it had been like an outsider looking in.

Even their last time, had been like a haze, even more so than what she was currently experiencing despite all the fog that had consumed the room. This kind of spell, how could she let it take over all of her senses this way? It toyed with her feelings and her emotions to an unimaginable degree. And her memory of the sensations Oga had given her wasn't helping to cure her of these images, to the point where she couldn't stop her body from reacting as hard as she tried. She could remember his muscles, just as she saw them now, flexing against her skin, She could remember his strength just as she was feeling now with his hands kneading and grasping her possessively, and she could remember the pleasure and relief when he slid into her just as he was doing now.

But she did not remember the fear. So why was she feeling it now?

Fear was not a feeling she was normally accustomed to. Was this a side effect of the spell maybe?

Either way Oga must have sensed it as he held inside of her, unmoving as he caressed her sides with his hands, his chest still pressed into her back.

"What's is it?" Oga whispered, his breath ghosting over her shoulder, as he used all of his strength to withhold himself from moving inside of her.

"I'm feeling... strange." Hilda whispered back, barely turning her head as she kept her cheek pressed against the tile.

"You're supposed to" Oga replied a mild smirk forming on his lips.

"Not in that way, idiot." Hilda stabbed back. "I'm... I want you."

Oga's eyes widened slightly, but he remained silent and still.

"Ravenously." Hilda whispered, unsure of why she was admitting any of this to him, but feeling honest all of a sudden. "I'm not used to it. This spell and not having any control. I feel..."

"I'm not used to it either." Oga replied running his thumb along the dip in her back. "I don't know if it's me or the spell and everything is changing so fucking fast. But I know I want you, too."

He moved to nibble at her ear.

"This." He thrust against her forcing a sharp cry from her lips. "I want it like hell. "

Oga pulled out and Hilda's expression fell as she felt the loss and her impatient need grow, but was surprised when Oga turned her so that she was facing him, her back against the wall as he moved to spread her legs apart with his own before quickly sliding back into her. His mouth passionately capturing hers.

Hilda shifted, instinctively wrapping her arms around his neck and shoulders as Oga gripped her thigh with his hand, pulling her closer until her pelvis was flush with his.

All Hilda could do was moan into his mouth as Oga began his pace slow yet forceful as he pressed into her with all his strength, letting Hilda take him in completely and in turn aiming to feel every warm inch of her with each thrust.

Oga was fighting his instincts to pound into her like an animal.

Because, he wanted to take his time with this. Because he was enamored by the Hilda he was watching. Memories of their last encounter flooded back to him. The Hilda with her hair undone, draped sexily along her body, the Hilda flushed and naked and glistening with sweat, the Hilda crying out his name with passionate abandon. As these things returned to him, Oga found himself wanting to drag the sensations out as long as he could.

But Hilda was urging him with her lips and her tongue and her fingers as they tugged at his hair and scraped across his back.

All signs that Oga had come to learn as her wordless way of telling him, "harder, faster, deeper", because he knew very well that she was too proud and stubborn to say them herself.

And as someone who rarely did things for the purpose of pleasing others, the sudden action of his hand palming her chest while the other hand gripped her butt as he began to piston his hips roughly against hers, was Oga's way of wordlessly voicing that only with her would he make such exceptions.

Hilda dropped her head against his chest, her hair sticking to the sides of her face as the moisture and her sweat blended together, her arms growing weak around Oga's shoulders as her body was thrown into a state of numbness and bliss.

Oga could already feel her insides quivering, causing his member to pulse each time he drove into her and he responded by leaning down to take one of her nipples into his mouth, sucking and rolling his tongue against it wildly.

"Ah... Tatsumi... !"

The combination of Hilda's cry signifying her pleasure combined with the sound of his name and the sensation of her insides creaming around him threw Oga over the edge and he pulled Hilda down onto the cold tile floor with him, pushing deeper as he folded her legs across his back and dragged his hips against her.

Hilda's only responses were deep throaty moans as she tightened her legs around him, his length pounding in and out of her as he hurdled for a finish.

"Hilda..." Oga chocked on a groan as he leaned forward pushing his hands forcibly into the tile on either side of her.

Oga dropped his head and forced his eyes shut as he rammed into her once more, the waves crashing over him repeatedly as his body stilled and his member shook and pulsed inside of her.

Hilda cried out as she welcomed the warm wet sensation that followed and Oga covered her mouth lazily with his lips and tongue as his slow languid pumps eased to a crawl.

She was unmistakably wet where they joined and Oga heard Hilda let out a faint whimper as he unceremoniously slipped out of her and their juices leaked out onto the tile below.

But Oga didn't get up. Instead he rolled onto his side and slid an arm around Hilda's waist to pull her against him silently.

He leaned his head on one arm and gazed at her as she mirrored his actions, staring back at him with a tired yet curious expression.

He responded with a small grin before his gaze moved.

He looked as Hilda's hand covered his where it rested on her hip and watched as she pushed it downward until his thumb was resting just below the underside of the newly formed curve in her belly.

Oga's attention spiked suddenly.

He had taken her so roughly that he almost forgot about that.

"I'll ask the questions now." Hilda began suddenly. "This_ thing _we've made…"

Oga found it interesting and almost amusing that Hilda would refer to it as a 'thing', but he stared at her seriously nonetheless as he awaited her words.

"What do you think of it?"

Oga's expression remained the same, but his thoughts were reeling. Since when did Hilda care about his opinion?

"Don't know." Oga answered, running his thumb mindlessly along the spot where it lay. "It'll probably look like hell either way when it comes out, so guess it doesn't matter so long as it doesn't go chewing its way out of you."

Hilda frowned in slight annoyance as she took in the words of the man lying beside her. She guessed she should have expected that kind of idiotic answer.

"But, I guess I don't really believe its anything like that." He added.

"Hm." Was Hilda's only reply.

They lay like that for a few moments, not saying anything and basking in the silence of their thoughts, which was something they almost never did, especially among the likes of each other. Perhaps it was the afterglow and realization of the acts they had once again committed. Perhaps this was another side effect of the spell. Neither of them had a clue which it was, but soon Oga was surprised to find that familiar look in Hilda's eyes as she took in his naked body, still covered in a thin sheen of sweat, along with the traces of their lovemaking still lingering between their thighs.

Oga in turn looked at Hilda, watching her exposed breasts and her still pert nipples as they continued to rise up to the open air. He smiled inwardly as he noted Hilda's modesty had somehow been whisked away as she lay confidently before him. He was also aware of her curves, which was something she was never shy in showing with what little her usual tight bound clothes left to the imagination, but this was the first time he found himself being allowed to appreciating these things in a way he had failed to before.

Oga wouldn't admit this to a woman like Hilda who was well aware of the benefits of her body and a chest like hers, being someone who used such things to a commercial advantage. And he had always been sort of indifferent to things like breast size or breasts in general seeing as how they hadn't been of any use to him before, but he had to admit, he really liked them. Especially, the way they felt in his hands, or when pressed up against him, or when he would wrap his mouth around them, trying to take it all in, a personal challenge Oga found he had made with himself.

Very quickly these thoughts sprang life back into Oga and Hilda was not far behind as she slung her leg over his hips and pushed his chest down with her hands so that she was straddling him. She seemed to be well aware of what he was thinking considering he didn't try to hide where he was looking. But Oga was a little surprised that she was thinking exactly the same.

"Are we doing it again?" Oga asked as he looked up at her, her blonde hair sweeping onto his chest as she leaned over him.

"Of course. You really think someone of my power would be fully satisfied otherwise?" She responded peering down at him with one eye, half lidded and filled with lust.

Oga smirked, leaning up to wrap his arms around her waist and pull her down onto his lips.

She could feel his erection growing hard again below her still wet entrance and it only continued to sate her desire.

Hilda moaned into his kiss and closed her eyes as Oga slipped his tongue into her mouth and she leaned down, letting her breasts fall against his chest.

Oga groaned as he felt Hilda slide over his length, teasing and prodding him with her slickness, and he sought out revenge as he released her lips and leaned down to clamp his mouth over one of her breasts, sucking on the tips and grazing his teeth lightly against them before biting down suddenly, causing her eyes to fly open and her body to pull back slightly in surprise.

"Tease me woman, and I'll tease you back." Oga responded with a devilish expression.

Hilda matched his expression but responded more urgently.

"Then, kindly do it already." She breathed out in more of a threat than a request, her flushed cheeks signifying her need.

"You know I don't give a crap about kindness... but since you asked so nicely." Oga reached down with one hand and positioned his erection at her entrance, sliding himself in easily and with force.

Hilda gasped at his roughness, and was going to counter with an insult but Oga left her no avail as he quickly began to pound in and out of her again.

Hilda moaned already feeling her insides begin to tighten as he drove deeper and harder this time, grasping her bottom as he held her down against him with each upward thrust of his hips.

Hilda however, would not be outdone so she planted her feet on either side of him, spread her palms on his chest and pushed downward, forcing her weight down as she slid onto him.

Oga groaned and closed his eyes, slipping his hands to her waist as he took in the feeling of Hilda's body driving down on his rock hard erection that was yearning for another release.

Though in control, Hilda was slowly losing it herself as she pounded down faster, using all the strength she had in her legs to drop against him repeatedly, letting her head fall back as the sensations rushed back to her.

Her insides were drawing him in so much deeper this time and her body shook and pulsed as she reached up to grab her own breasts, feeling her inner muscles rumble and quake as her orgasm came.

Oga watched her mesmerized as she came around him, his hands moving from her waist to her hips and the soft outer curves of her stomach.

The knowledge that he was making her come so effectively along with the knowledge that there was this _thing_ they made inside of her, regardless of what it was, all these factors were an unbelievable turn on for him and if they weren't so lust driven by this spell Oga wouldn't doubt these images could effect him otherwise.

It was all too much for him and he stopped suddenly leaning his head back as he held firmly on Hilda's hips, groaning out as he came inside of her once again.

It went on like this until morning and Hilda and Oga didn't even have a sense of the time of day from the lack of windows in the bathroom, but they had fallen asleep on the bathroom floor from exhaustion, forgetting that neither of them had actually gotten the chance to enter the bath.

"The water is cold." Lamia said as she stuck her finger in the tub and walked over to Furuichi who was looking down on the pair, covered in bathroom towels as they lay asleep tangled in each other.

"Furuichi?" Lamia questioned looking up at the man beside her who had his hands balled into fists and tears in his eyes.

"Why?" He yelled suddenly startling the pink haired girl beside him.

Lamia stared curiously but her face quickly flattened as she realized that she wholeheartedly expected the next words that she was about to hear.

"WHY AM I THE TYPE OF MAN THAT ONLY TAKES MORNING SHOWERS?!"

Lamia facefaulted.

"Sheesh. So much commotion so early in the morning! Tatsumi-kun, you have a … guest." Misaki's energetic entrance stalled to a screeching halt as she walked into the bathroom door and looked upon the scene that was so modestly laid out on the floor for everyone to see.

And as if timing were ever on their side Kuneida followed closely behind and quickly covered her mouth as she refrained from screaming when her eyes laid upon the semi-naked couple still sleeping soundly on the floor.

"Kuneida!" Lamia and Furuichi yelled simultaneously as they looked upon her horror stricken face.

"Wha-wha-whaat are you doing here?" Furuichi attempted.

Kuneida still visibly shocked took a step backwards as she attempted to form words with her mouth.

"I was going to say... I know how to break the…"

Misaki, Lamia, and Furuichi swore they heard her say the word "spell" before her eyes rolled back and she promptly hit the floor.

….

..

…..

. ..

End of Chapter 5

A.N – In case you're all wondering... The next chapter will explain how Kuneida even knows about the spell to begin with. :)

Thank you all for reading!


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